Being a caretaker is something I never imagined I would be doing, at least not caring for my son and mother at the same time. I found this poem that I wrote several years ago, when I was feeling truly alone and it was hard to explain to my son why people didn’t care for us the way they did others. It was a very long and lonely road. I really did cry a lot during that time when my mom and son were sick and unable to care for themselves fully. I am grateful that I was able to take care of them, but, I lost the energy to take care of myself. I always said that someday I would get to have the breakdown that I deserved. I made it through though and so did my son. We learned how to rely on each other, but definitely a hard lesson for someone, my son, to learn at such a young age. Everything has worked out the way it is supposed to, but I wanted to share this with anyone else who may be feeling alone and anxious.
A Mother’s Tears
Today my world came crashing down.
I found out my child is sick.
Today I sat alone with my child as the doctor told us that my child has cancer
We were told six months to a year to live.
Today I sat in a waiting room with loved ones as my child has a serious, 8 hour surgery.
Tonight I cried tears of joy as we found out it may not be cancer
Tonight begins a week long hospital stay for my child to recover.
A couple of visitors stopped by.
Today we get to go home.
There was nobody waiting for us to wish us well.
There were no parades, nobody to make sure we had plenty to eat, nobody bringing meals, and no one bringing groceries.
Just my child who had just been through a horrible surgery, my mom, who had health issues of her own who I took care of, and me.
Today, I actually left the house for a brief lunch outing.I sat down and was told I couldn’t sit there because somebody else sits there.
It was too much for me to handle.
Today, I left the restaurant in tears.
Today, we all sat in a quiet house with no visitors.
Nobody checking in on us.
Nobody bringing us joy.
Today was the same, quiet day.
And the next.
And the next.
Today we found out that my child needed another surgery.
Today I cried over money because all of this was a lot to take on.
Today we held a fund-raiser.
One family member showed up briefly.
Tonight I cried as room full of strangers came together to help raise money to help with medical expenses.
Tonight, strangers helped where others were too busy or uninterested.
Today, I sat alone in a hospital waiting room as my child had another long, serious surgery.
Today, I met some amazing people in the waiting room.
Today, once again, total strangers brought some joy to my day.
Today, I cried as I watched my child fight through the pain wondering what they had done to deserve this.
Today, I cried again as a card was delivered to my child’s room with a donation from one of the people I had met in the waiting room.
Today, we went home.
When we arrived, the only one waiting again was my mother who lived with us.
My mother was always there to cheer my child on.
Today, we sat alone and watched my child struggle through recovery.
Today, I cried as I couldn’t explain why nobody came to visit.
Today, I cried tears of joy because I’ve watched my child thrive.
Tonight, we cried together as we watched other family members come together, create parades, bring flowers, bring food.
Tonight, we cried over the outpouring of love and concern for other family members.
Tonight, we cried, wondering why people didn’t love us as much as they did others.
Tonight, we cried alone as we received the news that my mother had passed away.
Nobody brought us cards, or flowers, or made sure we were ok.
Tonight, I cried as I try and explain why nobody wants to come see us.
Tonight, I cry for my child’s pain, as I am left wondering the same thing.
Tonight, I cried as I finally realized that people chose to believe toxic people over supporting the people they’re supposed to love.
Tonight, I cried tears of joy because I am grateful to those who stood by us.
The ones who reached out on social,
The ones who made sure we were ok,
The ones who checked in on us.
Tonight, I cried tears of joy, because I realized that Friends are the family you choose!
©2025 Traci Hosmer
The question that has come to my mind over the past several years, is “Who will take care of the caretaker”? Being a caretaker can feel isolating, exhausting, and at times, completely overwhelming. But here’s the thing—you are not alone. There’s a whole community of people who get it, who have been in the trenches, and who are here to remind you that your own well-being also matters.
If you need a space to vent, laugh, cry, or just feel seen, join the Survival Fun Guide community. We’re all just trying to survive this wild ride called life—and maybe even have some fun along the way. Plus, as a bonus, you’ll get a free surprise goodie in your mailbox every month, because let’s be real—caretakers deserve some happy mail too. Share your story with us. We do not share any information without your consent. Please, if you are feeling overwhelmed, drop us a line. We are not healthcare professionals, just regular Gen Xers who have been through stuff and want to be there for one another.
👉 Sign up now and let’s survive (and thrive) together. Keep surviving, keep thriving, and most of all—have fun! 🎉
Bình luận